Monday, June 17, 2013

Angry skeletons


"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back–in many ways it is a feast fit for a king.
"The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you."
―Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC (New York: Harper & Row, 1973), 2.
Proverbs 6:16-19 

These "seven deadly sins," as they were coined, are outlined by Solomon.
16 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
These are six things our great and awesome God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, hates.  In the next phrase, The seventh, "one who sows discord among brothers," reaches the level of abomination.  God hates sin. That ought to make me fear His discipline and bow down to worship Him in holy humility.
The six, and seven, things are:
1. haughty eyes
2. a lying tongue
3. hands that shed innocent blood
4. a heart that devises wicked plans
5. feet that make haste to run to evil
6. a false witness who breathes out lies
7. one who sows discord among brothers
Memorizing this text through our church Awana program several years ago, we noted these things run from head to toe.  They run from our eyes to our tongue three times, to our hands and finally to our heart.   

Feast anger
The exact word "anger," doesn't appear.  Angry behaviors run right through virtually it all.  The haughty eyes are prideful and can lead to angry responses to others.  A lying tongue is angry.  Hands shedding innocent blood are angry.  Hearts devising wicked plans. Angry.  Feet running to evil. Angry. False witness lying mentioned twice in 17 and 19.  Initiating anger.  Sowing discord among family and friends is anger boiling over. 
Domestic violence and no contact orders are really common among the male inmates, their families, in relationships among themselves where I serve as a chaplain at the Maleng Regional Justice Center in Kent through PFC.

Feast experiences
I watched anger in my schools growing up and right through my Masters level work.  I saw it in the middle schools where I worked as a special ed teacher among certain students, other teachers, and administrators. 

I experienced anger among youth teams I played on, later reported on as a newspaper sports reporter, and those I later I coached.  In one season in particular, I acted out. 

I experienced wrath and anger in the churches I have attended. Some are very angry in churches. I was angry especially in one of the churches where I was the pastor. People I thought were caring stirred up trouble to cause divisions among their friends.  

There was anger flashing in my home growing up and with our own home. I grew up in a great, caring family with loving parents and a brother and sister. 

When I think it is everybody else, sometimes the Lord wakes me up in the middle of the night. It was me.  He reminded me of events.  I experienced anger in other people who hurt me.  I was angry toward others so I hurt them.  That is the definition of dysfunction.  Hurting people hurt people.  God hates these things.  They are abominations, He said.    


Feast turned
Buechner said," In many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you."

Anger "licks it's wounds."  The angry person wants to feel sorry for himself.


Anger "smacks its lips over grievances past." The angry person keeps remembering and rolling over what happened.  The grievance was from a long time ago.

Anger revels in "rolling over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come."  The angry person rehearses with other people what might never happen.  The more the future confrontation is considered, bitterness grows.  The confrontation has not even happened. Anger may easily escalates into confrontation with listeners who are not involved.

"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled..."  ~Hebrews 12:12-15

Anger "savors to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back."  This is a twisted pleasure.  Savoring something at a great holiday meal means we appreciate the smell, taste or feeling of a particular dish. The angry man or woman works over pain they are experiencing and what they are dishing out. 










Saturday, June 15, 2013

Writing as an acute gift

"This is a gift I have, simple, simple; a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures,
shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions...But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it."  ~William Shakespeare on writing

Seeking to rekindle my writing, I rechecked a book out of the library. Shakespeare's gift is the process of writing, whether anybody else reads it or not.  

The book is, "The writer's idea book--How to develop great ideas for fiction, nonfiction, poetry and screenplay," by Jack Heffron.

I dabbled with his writing prompts and it was very helpful to stimulate right activities to write.  I discovered blogs.  His book carried me a long way.  I need his friendship and mentoring in my writing, again.

I also appreciate Ralph Fletcher's, "A writer's notebook--unlocking the writer within you."  This is a very helpful text for youth and adults in small book, 137 pages.

Ralph encourages writers to maintain their own, customized notebook with seed thoughts, prompts, pictures and themes.  Creating a notebook is all about experimenting.  I tried to use it with special education middle school students.  It seems far more productive for me/


The gift I have, simple, simple
My path of writing started in junior high and high school.  My Mom had me write family Christmas letters. My parents were always so encouraging. I still have a set of magazine articles from my great aunt on writing. It looked so good but sitting still and concentrating that long was imposing.  I wanted to shoot my basketball or play catch. Always diversion and distractions from the gift.  Still, I was already on my lifelong path of writing.

Family and friends told me how much they appreciated my hand-written letters.  I hadn't started using my Smith Carona typewriter. Word processors and computers were in the next decade.  

I started sports writing in high school. Readers were very encouraging.  I focused on journalism at Green River Community College and graduated with a bachelors degree in communications journalism from Washington State University.  

While working at Boeing in Auburn, I was a procedures writer and published a "Good news at work" monthly newsletter circulated in several sites, even as far as Wichita.  

In the mid-1980s, I participated in writers critique groups and had a couple of articles published in smaller Christian magazines.  I attended several writing conferences in Washington and Oregon. Other published writers gave me loving pushes and some strong exhortations, to keep writing.  I journaled in three-ring notebooks for a long time.  I was hopeful and productive in my writing. As a pastor, I wrote many sermons and Bible studies.

Then, I was engulfed in painful experiences around my pastoral ministry and a succession of job losses.  I entered what John Bunyan described as a "slough of despond."  

I was hurt and very angry.  The writing changed alot. 

I was writing then but it wasn't the same.  Our great God was teaching me about pride and humility through His University of life.  I needed and finally received counseling for anger.

I am engaging where I feel acute pleasure in writing.  Often, I publish these blog posts. Other times, I write and edit emails

I may be able to get published other places but it doesn't matter where or if I am published anywhere else.  Writing is a gift from the Lord for others and me.  

When I living in a simple, focused gift,  I I move from I have to to want to.  

The gift becomes acute.  Even after I publish, more editing cycles are needed. The long process of writing, editing several times, and publishing helps me to think about other ideas to keep writing.  

Do you need to rekindle gifting?

  • loving your spouse...  
  • caring for your children...  
  • praying... 
  • participating in or leading a small group...
  • writing songs or lyrics...
  • writing poetry...
  • playing an instrument...

What are good, acute pleasure gifts in your life?

Extravagant spirit in finding Scanectady
A Scanectady rose garden
An extravagant spirit motivates the writer to keep at it.  Writing gets me into a place where I concentrate.  I write, stop, and write more.  I need to do other legitimate things so I put it aside.  When I am in the writing mode, I am thinking about my writing while I am doing those other things.  There is always more editing.

Sci-fi author Ray Bradbury was asked where he gets story ideas. He quipped his ideas come from "The Scanectady Center for Ideas."  Where is that?  It doesn't exist.  

An extravagant spirit finds great ideas to start writing. When I don't write regularly, my ideas have little more than jiggles.  Creativity seems non-existent.  Writing is lonely.  You just write.  Some say great writers sacrifice in blood.


Nott Memorial in Scanectady
There are no short-cuts to developing ideas for writing.  Ideas might come from something a friend says.  It didn't mean too much, at first.  Then, it grabs you.  Heffron gives me writing prompts.  There are websites available, as well.

Could the the Nott Memorial, built in 1815, on the campus of Union College in Scanectady be Bradbury's center for ideas?  It is truly stately but there is no "center for ideas." 

Writing requires tapping into memories, ideas, reflections, responses to what is happening all around.  Scanectady is where I locate subjects. Remarkable subjects come from the Holy Spirit.  Somebody you don't even know may need exactly what you are hearing. I learn to trust what I am hearing and write. 
a writer's notebook

Writers keep some kind of file for ideas.  I won't just magically remember.  I have a place now on my phone and Ipad to record ideas.  I also have a small spiral notepad. 

An extravagant spirit is filled with the Holy Spirit to to discover ways to enter into Scantectady places that seemed locked. Writers get back to writing.  As I write on one topic, other memories come to the surface.  

Full of forms, figures and shapes
Writing comes in multiple forms, figures, and shapes. In am listening to the flow and colors in the descriptive western writing of Zane Grey.  He paints word pictures with vivid colors in his settings.  We smell and feel life in 1916 western US. We are right there.

I don't see myself as creative. I fill up my life with other things which become diversions.  This isn't a guilt trip.  Sometimes, other things really need to be done. Writing requires getting buckled into a seat with a "keeping at it" spirit. There are more descriptive words and tightening the text to be attended to.  

Acute pleasure comes in many figures and shapes. Recently, a brother received an e-mail from a very gifted vocalist.  They participating in singing lessons together.  Their instructor encouraged her to participate in one of the national television singing contests. She could be very successful. 

My friend confirmed her amazing giftedness.  She takes pleasure in singing.  Using Shakespeare's analogy, the question is her sense of acute pleasure in using her singing gift.  She considers how and where will she use her gift. What or who motivates her to sing?  Why sing?

My friend pointed her to Paul, "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." 
~Colossians 3:17

She is fully engaged with her husband in their local church.  She is finding figures and shapes, all kinds of venues, to use the gift God gave her.  Many strongly encourage her to keep singing. Using God's gifts is dynamic. 

Our gifts come in many figures and shapes. We like things to be steady and sometimes they are.  Other times, we know all too well, are rocky with twisted turns.Some experiences getting a cars back on the road. There are places we don't expect and haven't planned for. The use of our gift helps us stay on His path for us.  


Apprehensions, motions and revolutions
Some writing digs deep into hard places. Apprehension is an anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen. Some authors take readers to dysfunctional, hurting places. Apprehension believes there may be no exits of freeways of pain. 
The dock in life needs repair

Grief and sorrow are dark rooms. There are cycles of family strain, prodigal family members, painful job loss, conflict, and struggle. Sometimes, there are doesn't appear to be a happy ending.  Apprehensions are where many readers and writers live in daily experience. 

There are resolutions and reconciliations, new jobs, and relief.  Life is in motion.  Writers take us to those places, too. Kids grow up, start their journeys, and leave home.  Authors take us through the changes of life. 

The apprehensions, motions, and revolutions in best stories, like some of the parable of Jesus and chapters in our lives, have unfinished endings. We can write and live the endings.

Shakespeare's revolutions involved political and interpersonal conflict.  He writes about intrigue. Macbeth and Brutus are hard. He makes his characters real because we identify with their actions. We recognize his characters in people we see in our contemporary life experience.    

Thankful when pleasure is acute
We all have very important other things to do.  Obedient living requires balance.  We need to do needed and right things at home, in our churches, and wherever we are serving on a daily basis.  The pleasure is acute when we exercise right responsibility. Using our gift requires careful time management.  We are right to be passionate about loving God right through the roof.  We can rejoice to have many interests.  
Acute writing exercises here

Acute pleasure comes when we carefully work out scheduling time to write.  We could be doing so many other things.  If I want to be consistent with writing, I need to be acute.  When I am scheduled to write, I need to write at the appointed time.

Acute gifts whisper in our ears to invite us back.  The gift brings us to healing, good places for each of us.  We come back to the right pleasure. When it is this "good acute pleasure," we need and want to be there.  The gift brings us to peace and worth.